What calls me?

Sitting was difficult this morning.  I never know why.  To sit and be present, in my body, where I'm sitting, would seem such an easy thing.  Not this morning.  I was immediately off - so many places, doing so many things, planning so many things, working things out, in my head, in my imagination.  And, then I'm back.  It's something I haven't seen clearly.  What brings me back?

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I do want to say that I don't find lead meditation as useful or as interesting as this.  To have someone lead me through a similar process seems to me to appeal to a part of me that isn't necessarily interested in seeing what's actually going on.  I have my own Work.  I need to see what's actually happening; what's actually at work.